Excuse 1. SIERRA MADRE TREASURE:  Rules?  What rules?  Nobody told me about no stinking rules!

Excuse 2. I HAVEN’T READ THE RULES, BUT:  What I am doing must be perfectly legal.

Excuse 3. PIED PIPER OF HAMDOM:  Follow me and the FCC will eventually change its rules.

Excuse 4. OSTRICH:  It is all the fault of the manufacturer of my transmitter.

Excuse 5. NOBODY’S HOME: A lot of hams are doing it my way and no FCC inspectors are knocking on their doors.

Excuse 6. TIMEWARPED: Those old rules don’t fit in with what I am doing.

Excuse 7. GOOD BUDDY: Part 95D (CB) is easier to follow than Part 97 (Amateur.)

Excuse 8. CONNECTED VIP: Some ham who knows a guy who works at the FCC told me that what I am doing is legal.

Excuse 9. WAG THE DOG:  The FCC rules are not helpful in the systems in which my station transmits.

Excuse 10. STEALTH HAM: No one will ever notice what I get away with.

Excuse 11. NOT ME:  It is all the fault of the designers of the system in which my station transmits.

Excuse 12. INTELLECTUAL SNOB: The FCC can’t comprehend what it is that I do.

Excuse 13: INVENTOR’S PEROGATIVE: The FCC neglected to foresee and provide rules for what it is that I just now thought up.

Excuse 14. SOFTWARE COPOUT: I didn’t provide protection against abuse in my perfeck system design because the users bear all responsibility and enforcement is the FCC’s job.

Excuse 15. GEEK SPECIAL: The computer made me do it.

Excuse 16. HYPNOTIST:  I cleared my mind of the U.S. Code of Federal Regulations and now stare into this other document that I hold in my hand.

Excuse 17. FREE-FOR-ALL: Everyone knows that those 1934 era FCC rules don’t apply on Field Day.

Excuse 18. FIELD DAY COMMISSIONED:  Some Extra around here said I could operate anywhere.

Excuse 19. DAREDEVIL:  I will continue doing what I am doing until I get a letter from the FCC advising me that I am in conflict with the rules and subject to disciplinary action.

Excuse 20. REJECTION INTOLERANCE: I won’t file a petition for rulemaking because some ham may not like my idea.

Excuse 21. BEATS ME: Those rules are too confusing.

Excuse 22. LOGICIAN: Common sense says that what I am doing is legal.

Excuse 23. INTERPRETER:  I don’t read the FCC rules. I just ask a ham friend.

Excuse 24. PONTIFICATED: The expert in our club tells us what the real rules are.

Excuse 25. FAIR-MINDED COMPETITOR: If I observed those rules, it might hurt my contest scores.

Excuse 26. PET FOOD: The dog ate my copy.

Excuse 27.  SQUATTER’S RIGHT:  I’ve been doing it this way for years.

Excuse 28. SPENDTHRIFT:  It would cost too much to be in compliance.

Excuse 29.  WHO CARES:  No one has ever complained.

Excuse 30.  CLAIRVOYANT:  That was not the FCC’s intent.

Excuse 31.  IT’S ALL ABOUT ME:  Why should I change to one of the hundreds

of other frequencies when I like THIS one?

Excuse 32.  COPY CAT: Everyone’s doing it.

Excuse 33.  THE PICTURE OF DORIAN:  The question you ask is in the gray area of the rules.

Excuse 34.  THIRD PARTY OPERATOR RIGHTS ADVOCATE:  Third parties should be allowed to be station control operators all the time, just like on Field Day.

Excuse 35.  INTERPRETIVE READER:  I don’t trust myself to read Part 97 directly; I rely on non-FCC interpreters.

Excuse 36.  WASHABLE BRAIN:  I was brain-washed.

Excuse 37.  POSITIVE THINKER:  I positively think that “No” doesn’t actually mean absolutely no.

Excuse 38.  IMPATIENT:  The FCC rulemaking process of considering everyone’s comments takes too long.

Excuse 39.  REVERSAL OF PRIORITY:  My nifty system could not function as I want it to if the FCC rules were really mandatory.

Excuse No 40.  BLAMELESS:  I may have to accept responsibility for the violation, but not the blame.

Excuse No. 41.  PASSIVIST:  Compliance mistakes were made.

Excuse No. 41. SPECULATOR:  I really don’t believe the FCC intends to outlaw American Morse as a telegraphy code when it permits all of those other digital modes. 

Excuse No. 42.  AMUSEMENT SEEKER:     Technical expertise is no longer associated with ham radio.  Very few U.S. hams construct or repair their apparatus anymore.  They depend almost completely upon foreign-produced equipment.  Those exams are irrelevant to what we do.  We are looking for amusement.  We don’t want to become trained operators, technicians, or electronics experts.  We want more leeway.  We will skirt the rules if we have to.  Your monitors don’t care.

Excuse No. 43.  SEE YOU IN COURT:  No FCC rule applies unless and until a test case challenging it is upheld in federal court.